Growing up in a divorced family during the holidays was always very hectic and eventful. We would spend part of the day with moms family and then the other part of the day with my dads family. There was also a lot of emotions that came with it that I don’t think I realized at the time. I was very lucky in that my parents handled it pretty well and always made it a positive experience for me. Additionally, I didn’t need to travel far or miss seeing one my parents during this special time of year. I know many families are not as fortunate to have it as simple.
Below are some things to keep in mind this holiday season if you do have a divorced family or family that is not in one place.
1.Remember the holidays are not all about you and that your children need you to be your best self during this time of year. Sacrificing now for them will save you a lot of heartache as they get older.
2.Make transitions easy and fun for them. Keep it simple and light, don’t talk about the other parent in a negative way, don’t complain about the challenges of the transition or make it seem that there is a problem.
3.Keep disputes between the two families between the adults. Your children do not need to know all the details of what is happening with visitation or any conflicts going on at this time. If you need to talk about it “phone a friend” (when the kids are not around).
4.Unless you have kids older than 12 years you make the decisions with your ex-partner on how the holidays will look in regards to visitation. They should not be involved in the decision.
5.Help your child shop for the other parent. It is nice for them to show up with a gift for the person they call mom or dad.6.If possible, coordinate gifts so the child doesn’t get two of the same thing and then feel confused or torn on how to deal with that situation.
Divorce is tough on everyone and it is a trauma to the developing brain. As a parent do the best you can to make the trauma not as painful for your family.
Let me know what you think. I would love to hear how your families transition during this special time of the year! Also don't forget to join my Facebook group!